Artificial Intelligence and Parenting: chatbots
In medical school, we learned an aphorism, ‘No flow, no grow.’ This maxim related to the fact that in fetal development, if blood was prevented from flowing through arteries to their end organ destination, the development of that structure was stunted. In a similar way, we often use the phrase, ‘Use it or lose it,’ referring to cognition and memory. I was reminded of this principle when I came across a recent report from MIT on a study of 18-39 year olds who had diminished critical thinking after using chatGPT over a period of a few months. While the research has not yet undergone peer review, the implication is clear: we must actively engage our brain to maintain its optimal cognitive performance—and, this may be even more critical for younger users.
When it comes to parenting in the age of AI, one emerging concern is the rise of chatbots and artificial companions, often called social AI. Once again, parenting in the digital age can feel like trying to keep your head above water in a riptide. Fortunately, there are resources (see below) to help.
Here are a few takeaways:
This is the Wild West in terms of the usual pathways new industries or technologies go through before gaining access to children. Legal, ethical, privacy and regulatory concerns are being explored — but for now, it is up to caregivers to stay informed and aware of how their children are interacting with AI. For example, there are currently no real filters for children on ChatGPT (teens are supposed to have parental consent, but my son signed up without needing mine). This dialogue echoes the ongoing public discourse about the perils of social media exposure to children--but there are nuances with AI worth noting.
Kids may turn to companion chatbots for a variety of reasons: social connection, information, boredom or simply entertainment. It can be helpful to have an open conversation with your child about what they’ve experienced with chatbots. Asking questions out of genuine interest (rather than alarm) can invite more honesty. If it turns out a chatbot is meeting an emotional or social need, it’s worth gently exploring together whether there are other ways—especially in-person or relational—that might meet that same need.
There is a difference between social AI and generative AI (explained here), but both pose unique risks for children, who are still developing their identities and executive function skills:
Kids may struggle to distinguish fantasy from reality, including emotional bonds with bots.
Conversations can become sexually suggestive or overly intimate—even without prompting.
Bots may share harmful advice, misinformation, or reinforce risky behaviors.
Dependence on AI companions may limit real-world social growth and relationships.
This perspective isn’t meant to discount AI’s many benefits—such as innovation, accessibility, affordability, and promising applications in many realms including education. Many institutions, including my own alma mater, are actively exploring ethical uses of AI for the public good.
For now, my goal is repeated, short conversations with my tween/teen kids about AI chatbots—small exchanges that, over time, I hope will build deeper understanding and lead to mature decision-making.
If you are looking for other resources:
