Book List from Harvard — books for parents, children, and young adults

EmbraceRace — book lists, podcast, webinars, and a community focused on raising and educating children.

Rebekah Gienapp — writer and activist focused on anti-racist resources for parents and educators.

A pediatrician’s view on becoming an anti-racist

PBS videos on talking to kids about race and racism

Resources for educators

In my recent workshop on communication, we discussed these key points:

• Regulate before you relate. Try to find your zone of calm/emotional regulation before engaging in important conversations. Recall that the reactive, fight-or-flight response can impede access to the parts of the brain involved in logical thinking, communication, and problem-solving. This is especially true for children, whose emotional regulation and impulse control are still developing into their twenties—but it applies to us as well.

• All behavior is communication. Children’s behavior reflects a need, either met or unmet. The lens through which we view our children shapes the depth of our compassion and the way we respond. Shifting from “my child is difficult” to “my child is struggling” opens the door to solutions and connection. 

• Connect before you correct. Use curiosity, empathy, and validation before offering advice or jumping into problem-solving. Being heard is often what matters most.

• Practice makes progress. The brain is plastic, and change is possible, but rewiring how we respond in tough moments takes time, repetition, and support—it can almost feel like learning a new language!

This summary is based on the following books, all of which I recommend and have read multiple times.

1) Faber, A., & Mazlish, E. (1980). How to talk so kids will listen & listen so kids will talk. Scribner.

2) Siegel, D. J., & Bryson, T. P. (2011). The whole-brain child: 12 revolutionary strategies to nurture your child's developing mind. Delacorte Press.

3) Damour, L. (2023). The emotional lives of teenagers: Raising connected, capable, and compassionate adolescents. Ballantine Books.

4) Greene, R. W. (2021). The explosive child: A new approach for understanding and parenting easily frustrated, chronically inflexible children (6th ed.). Harper Paperbacks.

5) Rosenberg, M. B. (2003). Nonviolent communication: A language of life (2nd ed.). PuddleDancer Press.

Thoughtful, evidence-based scholars and advocates have been researching and working to protect young people in digital spaces for many years. Their work is far more comprehensive and specialized than my own, so I encourage you to explore the vetted resources linked below.

My “Top Ten” consolidated list of considerations for parents:

1. Have a digital media plan. Think ahead about expectations, boundaries, and media that make sense for everyone in the family.

2. Model the behavior you wish to see.

3. Protect sleep at all costs.

4. Include safety conversations early. Safety around digital media includes a conversation about pornography, starting from whatever age a child has interactions with the internet or video games. If you are uncertain about how to tailor this to your child's age or developmental stage, look at some of the resources listed below.

5. This is a highly individualized topic. What works well for one child or family may look very different from what works for another.

6. Focus less on overall screen time and more on patterns of use and the ability to transition from digital to non-digital activities.

7. Create and protect tech-free spaces and shared activities.

8. Teach media literacy and critical thinking skills from the time a child has access to digital media. 

9. Expect children with ADHD to require an individualized media plan that will include more scaffolding, more patience, and more reinforcement. 

10. It’s not too late to have further discussion, even with older teens; you can explore opinions on AI, current trends, or review together a school’s tech policy (often referred to as an Empowered Digital Use Policy/Guideline, or similar) as a starting point.

Websites

Common Sense Media is a nonprofit organization helping families and educators navigate media, AI, and emerging technologies safely. Rating feature for movies, games, and technical papers on a range of youth and digital experiences.

American Academy of Pediatrics’ Center for Social Media and Youth Mental Health: A centralized, trusted source for evidence-based education and technical assistance to support the mental health of children and adolescents as they navigate social media.

ConnectSafely: a nonprofit based in Silicon Valley that educates people of all ages about online safety, privacy, security, and digital wellness. Resources include research-based safety tips, parents’ guidebooks, advice, news, and commentary on all aspects of tech use and policy. 

Professional Organizations

American Academy of Pediatrics updated technical report, “Digital Ecosystems, Children and Adolescents.” 

Books

Alone Together: Why We Expect More from Technology and Less from Each Other

Author: Sherry Turkle
Published: 2011

The Anxious Generation: How the Great Rewiring of Childhood Is Causing an Epidemic of Mental Illness

Author: Jonathan Haidt

Published: 2024

The Amazing Generation

Authors: Jonathan Haidt and Catherine Price

Published: 2025

Raising Humans in a Digital World: Helping Kids Build a Healthy Relationship with Technology 

Author: Diana Graber

Published: 2019

Screenwise: Helping Kids Thrive (and Survive) in Their Digital World 

Author: Devorah Heitner

Published: 2023 (second edition)

Is my child ready for a phone?

AAP and AT&T Phone Ready Questionnaire

AAP’s Family Media Plan

Wait Until 8th Advocates for delaying smartphone use in kids until 8th grade. Tip sheets on talking to kids, parents, and schools, free resources, including templates for family phone plans.

American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry’s handout on Preparing for your child’s first smartphone.

ADHD and screen use

Parenting Tip Sheet on ADHD Youth and Digital Media Use

Explicit Media

Parenting Tip Sheet on Explicit Media 

Culture Reframed is a science-informed nonprofit education and advocacy group whose mission is “…to stop the emotional, behavioral, and sexual harms of pornography to children and youth.” Free parent education course and tips on talking to children.

Resources for Problematic Digital Use Among Youth

Clinic for Interactive Media and Internet Disorders (Boston Children’s Hospital)

Information on Digital Addiction from the Institute of Digital Media and Child Development