The science of helping others
One of the key questions I find myself asking these days is: “How can weave the notion of service more intentionally into our family life—especially for my tween and teen aged kids?”
Service has been a common thread throughout my life, providing continuity across a varied career of clinical roles and work locations. Helping others has provided meaning and reward, and, like many, it was a foundational reason I went into medicine.
There is ample scientific evidence supporting the benefits of helping others (1;2). It turns out our hedonic system (that brain pathway involved in pleasure, reward and connection) and the familiar feel-good neurochemicals like dopamine, oxytocin, as well as the calming influence of the vagus nerve, are all stimulated through acts of service (3).
For adolescents, in particular, research suggests volunteerism is associated with decreased depression and anxiety, increased empathy and increased engagement and job readiness (4).
Now living and raising kids in a suburban area with all the trappings of privilege, I am often aware of the lack of exposure my kids have to others who may live with fewer resources. I’m determined to find ways to encourage ethical volunteerism—engaging with our local and global communities in ways that are inclusive, collaborative, and sustainable. These conversations feel more important than ever with the backdrop of threats to civil liberties, ongoing social injustice and a rapidly shifting geopolitical climate.
A great way to begin a conversation about service with your teen is by asking what issues they care about or what changes they’d like to see in the world. Another entry point might be exploring activities they already enjoy—sports, music, art, or nature—and seeing if there’s a way to contribute through those interests.
Talking about the science behind kindness can also be helpful. Teens may find it motivating to learn that acts of service are linked to better mental health and stronger stronger relationships.
Modeling is one of the most powerful tools we have. When other family members engage in service, sharing your experiences and the reasons behind them can spark meaningful conversations.
Since most teens are socially driven, inviting them to volunteer with a friend or group can make a big difference—familiar faces and shared fun can turn a new experience into a lasting habit.
If you’re not sure where to begin, ask around—friends, neighbors, or school staff may have suggestions. Local organizations like the YMCA, Red Cross, or community food banks are often eager to engage young people in meaningful ways.
This is all fresh in my mind after a recent return from a Rotaplast trip to Luxor, Egypt. I’m especially proud that our group was a collaboration with Egyptian surgeons, ensuring the work continues long after our return home.
How do you cultivate prosocial behavior in your families?
I would love to hear from you.
References
1. Harbaugh, W. T., Mayr, U., & Burghart, D. R. (2007). Neural responses to taxation and voluntary giving reveal motives for charitable donations. Science, 316(5831), 1622–1625.
2. Fehr, E., & Fischbacher, U. (2003). The nature of human altruism. Nature, 425(6960), 785–791.
3. Seligman, M. E. P. (2011). Flourish: A visionary new understanding of happiness and well-being. New York, NY: Atria Books.
4. Lanza K, Hunt ET, Mantey DS, Omega-Njemnobi O, Cristol B, Kelder SH. Volunteering, Health, and Well-being of Children and Adolescents in the United States. JAMA Netw Open. 2023;6(5):e2315980. doi:10.1001/jamanetworkopen.2023.15980.
